Tis the night after Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature is stirring
not even a…well, okay,
two dwarf albino
black-clawed
amphibious
African frogs,
one blue, one red Gourami,
and, oh yeah ~ one blue
Siamese fighting fish.
The stockings hung on the
wall are still there.
All treasure’s been pillaged,
they’re totally bare.
I'm not wearing PJ's,
nor am I a cap,
about to settle in for a
long winter night's nap;
When down in my belly
there arose such a clatter,
great pain in my gut,
oh no, what' the matter?
I ran to the toilet and
and threw up the seat!
Vomiting! Squirting!
God, what did I eat?!
Marzipan, chocolates,
Christmas cookies galore,
Bud Lights, brandy coffee,
bean burritos, and more…
Tangerines, eggnog,
cracked nut after nut,
chili dip and hot sauce
now burning my butt.
Sitting here suffering
one thing's quite clear:
to hell with that eggnog;
I'm sticking only to beer!